Ballad of the “Fart Bar”

My husband came home from the store a couple weeks ago with a box of Fiber One bars.  Have you seen these in the stores, kids?

The evil chocolate and oats variety

It's oats & chocolate! It's from the devil.

The experience of eating this bar is not unlike eating a candy bar.  It’s chewy and sweet and covered in a drizzle of chocolate. Plus, each bar has 4 grams of dietary fiber.  That’s pretty good.  Fiber is your friend.  It keeps you “regular”, y’all.

But here’s the thing.  About 3-4 hours after eating one of these bars you’d better hope you aren’t running on a treadmill at the local YMCA when all the fiber (and whatever the hell else is in this devil’s spawn of a food item) decides to start working on your bowels.  What the CRAP, General Mills? I’ve never felt so bad in my life.

So, what to do with the remaining bars? I’ve decided to save the middleman and send the bars back from whence they came.

IMG_3778

The gateway to hell is through a Dora potty seat.

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2 Comments

Filed under Tidbits

2 responses to “Ballad of the “Fart Bar”

  1. Thanks for visiting and leaving such a nice comment. We do our best trying to be funny, sometimes it works apparently ;). Good luck with the blog!

  2. Christi

    These fiber one bars are killer. I already have a lot of gas but I recently started my healthy eating kick. I bought a couple of boxes of fiber one bars for my sweet tooth and to add more fiber in my diet. OMG! I was at my sisters house today and I had her running for her life. I pooted the whole time I was there. I mean, loud and long and constant. It was impossible to try and muffle them to the chair because once I pushed, it was a lot of force put behind every poot. Even as I write this, I just blew off a good poot. The smell was horrendous. LOL But these bars are so good, I’m not going to stop eating them. Because this replaces the candy that I love. Too bad for all the people out there who is scared to poot in public. They better stay out of my way… LOL

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