Tag Archives: fart bar

Ballad of the “Fart Bar”

My husband came home from the store a couple weeks ago with a box of Fiber One bars.  Have you seen these in the stores, kids?

The evil chocolate and oats variety

It's oats & chocolate! It's from the devil.

The experience of eating this bar is not unlike eating a candy bar.  It’s chewy and sweet and covered in a drizzle of chocolate. Plus, each bar has 4 grams of dietary fiber.  That’s pretty good.  Fiber is your friend.  It keeps you “regular”, y’all.

But here’s the thing.  About 3-4 hours after eating one of these bars you’d better hope you aren’t running on a treadmill at the local YMCA when all the fiber (and whatever the hell else is in this devil’s spawn of a food item) decides to start working on your bowels.  What the CRAP, General Mills? I’ve never felt so bad in my life.

So, what to do with the remaining bars? I’ve decided to save the middleman and send the bars back from whence they came.


The gateway to hell is through a Dora potty seat.



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